Lately, I have been contemplating the idea of keeping a personal journal. I really feel that I need a place where I can describe in detail my feelings, including frustrations and joys.
I kept a journal for about 5 years or so during my late thirties and early forties. These were very crucial and difficult times in my life. I am convinced that keeping a journal helped during those years. I also tried to keep a journal after the birth of my son during my mid-forties. I really wanted to document my life as both mother and wife. But, this attempt only lasted for a few months. Now, I am practically fifty years old and feel that it's once again time to keep a journal.
I know that there are many reasons why people keep journals, including self-awareness, accountability, focus, clarity, meditation, a place to face our fears, and a place to feel in peace. Although I feel that all these reasons certainly apply to me, I know that the main reason why I want to keep a journal is a different one. I want to keep a journal at this stage in my life because of my son.
I feel a deep necessity to write about my life and myself because I want to leave something that will aid my son to know my life story. We live such a busy life that there is never really enough time to share sufficient quality time with our children. Although I know my son knows who I am and how much I love him, there are so many things about me and my own life experience that I have not shared with him yet. If I take the time to write about my life story and my experience as his mother, it may give him the chance to know me better.
So, I have started to keep a journal once again.